I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
