I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
