eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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