Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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