if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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