She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
