when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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