Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
