where am i from again
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
