having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
