You really coming over, don't trick.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Randomize
