you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
