she woke up with a sticky ear
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
