So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
