Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
