its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
We got so high we made milksteak
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Are we still banned from the library?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
