you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
