Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
