there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
