So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
