Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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