We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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