So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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