I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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