like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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