You're completely useless in the revolution.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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