someone owes me an orgasm
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
