Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
