It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
