Is it normal to miss your booty call?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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