This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
