What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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