i would punch a child for taco bell
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
