That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
