I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
accomplished twins. life is a go
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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