i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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