I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize
