I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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