The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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