i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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