It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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