Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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