Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
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