i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
