Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize