i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
