all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
They took my balls.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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