What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
