my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize