I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
this just has baby written all over it
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
