Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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