i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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