I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
