my mouth tastes like poor choices
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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