Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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