I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
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