Non-Jews are for practice
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
