i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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