I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
