My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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