she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
