I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
