coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize