I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
