Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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