i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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