Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
