just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
