how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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